| join now | shop | freebies & contests | help
     gURL.com  the Web    web search powered by Yahoo!


SHOUT OUT BOARDS

YOUR ROOM


HELP ME HEATHER

SEX ED BLOG



gURL GAMES

QUIZZES



COMIX

PHOTOS



POLLS

VIDEO



BODY IMAGE

SEX

  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > other  
 


 
  Dear Heather,

I am completely obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. I know the words to every song, every quote from every interview and practically every fact about them. I really believe that I'm in love with Joe Jonas. Even though I've never met him, I feel like I know him. It really hurts to know that I'll never be with Joe and I'll probably never even meet him. I actually cry every night because I know my dream of being Joe's girlfriend will never come true. Is this just a phase or do I have a real problem?


 
 
 
Hi.

It's perfectly normal to have crushes, but celebrity crushes are especially exciting and tend to last a bit longer because this person is an idealized figure. In other words, since you have no actual contact or one-on-one experiences with him, you can only imagine all the great things about him. You have no actual proof that he is as you imagine him.

Think about what happens when you meet a new guy in real life. You might find that you truly like him, that you are neutral or that he kind of turns you off. Since you don't have the luxury of having met Joe in real life, you cannot know whether or not you love him.

This is probably a phase. Your attachment to Joe Jonas will probably fade eventually--or at least become less consuming. However, you shouldn't spend so much time thinking about him that you are neglecting important things in your life like your studies, activities, family and friends. If your crush is affecting these areas of your life, you may need to make a conscious effort to integrate more activities in your life or focus on other things.

If you can't help yourself and you find you are obsessing over Joe and letting other things fall by the wayside, you may want to speak to a school counselor about your preoccupation. He or she can do short-term counseling or refer you to an appropriate mental health provider.

Take care.

 
   
 
 

more other

select another topic:

 
 
 

email this feature to a friend:
IM this feature to a friend (AIM only):
tell us what you think of this feature.

  CONNECT EXPLORE gURL.com BY TOPIC ABOUT gURL  
 
shout out boards
gURL newsletter


being yourself
beliefs
body image
brainylicious
dating
d.i.y.
fashion & style
friends & family
health
music, movies & media
school & careers
sex
sports
sucky emotions

contact us
what is gURL?
advertise on gURL
privacy policy
terms of service
help

 
  ADVERTISEMENT

   
   Also... Get your horoscope mailed to you every day!
   Sign up for gURL and Astrology.com's daily newsletter.

 

© iVillage Inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.